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February 2017

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Sweet Music to My Ears (Star Trek XI/TOS, Kirk/Spock + All)

Written for st_xi_kink request. Utter crack. Can be taken as K/S or gen, either way is fine. Thanks to dissociate for the beta and bunny plotting.

Title: Sweet Music to My Ears
Pairing: Kirk/Spock (+ All, crack)
Fandom: Star Trek XI/TOS
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nothing except the crack is mine.

Sweet Music to My Ears
by Renata Lord


"It vas absolutely horrible, sir. I....I cannot begin to describe it."

Chekov appeared to have been deeply traumatized. For the first time in two years on this ship, Spock wondered if Starfleet should have had a minimal age for enlistment. "Dr. McCoy, by your medical expertise, how would you evaluate the current situation?"

"There is nothing I can do for them! Dammit man, I am a doctor, not a psychiatrist!" McCoy waved both arms in frustration at his supposed patients. "Get yourselves back to the bridge and stop crowding up the sick bay!"

"I can't believe you, man." Sulu argued vehemently, quite shocked by the betrayal. "You're going to make us go back there? After what happened? I thought we were friends!"

"Yeah! Don't they teach ethics in med school?" Scotty chimed in, face still pale and sweating.

"This from a man who killed a puppy? You are one to—"

"Gentlemen." Spock moved both eyebrows this time. The room effectively quieted down.

"Mr. Scott, you may return to the engineering deck. Mr. Sulu, Mr. Chekov, please accompany me to the bridge. I shall ascertain the matter for myself privately."

Even McCoy hesitated at that. True, the man was a copper-blooded, pointy-eared green goblin with no heart. But surely nobody deserved to hear their captain sing a literally unforgettable rendition of "Billie Jean"?

Thank God Uhura is on shore leave. As he watched the afflicted parties and Spock leave his domain, the good doctor thought to himself, half-dazed. Jim's a total baby when he gets kicked in the balls.

******[Twenty Minutes Later]******


Spock didn't look all broken inside, but McCoy didn't trust the guy, just out of principle.

"If you are feeling nauseous, drink some vitamin water. If you have a pounding headache, I have tranquilizers. Anything other than that, I recommend getting a rope."

Five feet away from him, Spock blinked once.

"I think you may have misinterpreted my intentions for coming here, Dr. McCoy," the Vulcan states evenly. "My state of mental and physical health has never been better."


"I was quite pleasantly surprised by the captain's musical ability, especially after the negative reactions his singing invoked from our weathered officers."

For a brief moment McCoy thought Spock was bullshitting him. Had to be bullshitting him. But then he remembered that Vulcans didn't even joke. Ever.

"I find the dramatic difference in our reactions quite fascinating. I can only postulate that it stems from the inherent disparity between Human and Vulcan physiology. To me, his singing voice was most riveting."

"Um, yeah. Good for you." Leonard "Bones" McCoy was not a sadistic man, yet at this moment he was sorely disappointed by Spock's lack of misfortune. "The next time when he needs to sing again, we will just lock you up with him in a room." (He really meant to say the brig, but mutiny plans are not to be disclosed lightly.)

Spock seemed to actually consider this scenario.

"It might come sooner than you expect, doctor," he replied with perfect sincerity. "I was so touched by his song that I mentioned the possibility that I could accompany him on my lute, to participate in next year's Starfleet's Got Talent competition. He was most delighted and said that we would make beautiful music together."



A/N: Spock playing Vulcan lute is from TOS: Charlie X. Naturally, he is awesome at it.


Mwahahaha! "starfleet's got talent"! Awesome!
The Galactovision Song Contest is next!


That was everything I hoped for and more!

I LOVE how Spock actually enjoyed it. Brings up lovely images of that album Shatner and Nemoy did. *grins!*
I'm glad you like it. :) I had a blast writing this, so thanks for the prompt!
lmao oh. That was amazing. GOD, THE SINGING.
LOL!!This is really funny!!I can imagine Jim singing like crazy in the bridge and everyone trying to get out!
That scene from Charlie X is awesome, and the song Uhura sings about Spock is really funny too
Ya ya ya!! I fell in love (or at least fell out of dislike) with Uhura after that one. And the way Spock smiled as he played, OMG, I could have died.
Starfleet's Got Talent, now there's one of those shows that I'd actually watch all the way through.

Awesome fic I'm still laughing XD

Billie Jean is not my lover~~ She's just a girl who claims that I am the one ~~~

I can actually see and hear Jim on the bridge right now. LOL

Re: Billie Jean is not my lover~~ She's just a girl who claims that I am the one ~~~

You should probably run for cover then. :P
Nice delivery 8D
OMG! I just hurt something internally from my giggle-fit. *pokes ribs* Yup. Broken.

But so worth it!

//He was most delighted and said that we would make beautiful music together.//

不是对唱哟~我是写的Spock弹vulcan lute(看起来比较像竖琴?)。就是他在TOS的Charlie X里面弹的那个。

天涯呀海角 觅呀觅知音 小妹妹唱歌郎奏琴 郎呀咱们俩是一条心

That was utterly fabulous. You are fabulous, all kinds of awesome.
lmaoz!!!!!! can't stop laughing!
Best crack evar.

I love Sulu's 'But I thought we were FRIENDS!'
*rolls on the floor from laughter* Just perfect.
You are awesome!
Having just found this fic, may I say that you win at life for writing it? I was laughing all the way through! (and that doesn't happen pften when I'm reading fanfic, mind.)