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April 2017

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The Lotus Eater (Star Trek XI, Spock+Kirk)

st_xi_kink request filled: Flower!eating Spock. Trust me to turn into a perfectly charming prompt into angst. Uh, I blame the other prompt for which this was written: "home" from spock100.

Title: The Lotus Eater
Character: Spock (+Kirk)
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Rating: G
Word Count: 500
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.

The Lotus Eater
by Renata Lord (snowlight)


There was nothing logical about it, or even remotely rational. He was propelled, as some might say, by a mere physical memory.

A splendidly deep-rooted memory, one that slept for two decades undisturbed since Narada. Yet the moment he saw those flowers on the banquet table, his hands extended out before his mind could compute the impossibility of miracles.

White flower the size of an adult female's palm. Eight petals, curved at the edge. Blue pollen with a faintly sweet scent. Ashurik lotus, his mind breathed to his heart. It was a flower Vulcan children routinely ate when they played outside during the summer, as Terran children would eat wild berries.

Like those children, the species Ashurik lotus had died with the planet Vulcan.

His mind told him this, but not fast enough to stop his hand from taking the flower directly into his mouth. From the corner of his eye he saw his Drovian host's horror-drenched face, and his captain looking more amused than shocked.

"Spock—" someone uttered a sweet, heartbroken sound. Did it come from here and now, or was it an echo from days long past? But his consciousness was already sliding into the gentle dark.

...Spock. Spock. I love you baby honey sweetheart darling. Loveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou...



He slowly opened his eyes and found himself lying in a medical facility. The captain was by his side, as was the Drovian official who looked on with obvious relief.

"Mr. Spock!"

"Yes, captain," he answered softly. He was back now, on Drova IV. Diplomatic mission. Trade treaty. Federation. Jim.

"Very unlike you to pull something like that! You slept for twenty hours."

"Indeed. My sincere apologies," he nodded at the Drovian official. "I hope the treaty talk was not affected by my rudeness." A most likely futile hope, however, because Kirk probably stopped everything cold and demanded to know what happened to his first officer before anything else.

The Drovian gave a rueful little smile. "Now that you've recovered, Commander, I believe we may resume the negotiations."

He heard the accusation in that statement and bowed his head slightly.

"Forgive me, Sir P'lekan. My judgment was...momentarily confused by a memory. The flower that I assume caused this, is it native to your planet?"

"The ka'tryae? Yes, but it's not meant to be eaten!"

"Of course." He looked down at his hand, recalling the physical feel of the flower. "Again, my apologies. By a most fascinating coincidence, your ka'tryae looks exactly like the one we called ashurik on Vulcan. It was customary of Vulcan children to eat it. I haven't seen it in twenty-three years."

Two months, and seven days. His mind added silently.

The Drovian opened his mouth but apparently thought the better of it. Kirk, however, leaned over and patted him gently.


He gave Jim what was hopefully a smile. "Rest assured, captain. I'll refrain from any future ingestion."

The Ashurik lotus was a bittersweet flower, but in its hallucinogenic Drovian incarnation, only the bitterness remained.




heart. it be ripped. :( so sad and bitter indeed. thank you for this though.
I love this. The imagery of the whole thing is perfect, but the last paragraph is especially gut wrenching.

500 words?!

500 words that made my heart clench in my chest. (I wish it was moar.) I thought the prompt response for that request was going to be cute, sweet, light-hearted and funny.

This is so much better than that.

You write Spock perfectly.

Re: 500 words?!

Home? With Spock? The only way I see it being cute would be something like "home is where the heart is", and I certainly was not going to write that after your lovely San Fran story. :)

I'm glad you liked this Spock! It was my first time writing his POV. Was scared. :P

I'm still too scared to Spock PoV. :P

Anyone can write fluff. It's so much harder to pull of angst! You don't shy away from it and I like how honest this fic is. Too many fics either dismiss Spock's emotions all together or turn him into a drama queen... You did him justice. <3

(And I'm flattered you like my fluff.)

Re: I'm still too scared to Spock PoV. :P

I think we kind of have a mutual appreciation society going on here. And, uh, as wonderful as that is, it's also kind of embarrassing if you know what I mean. :P

Anyway, personally I think angst is easy, especially with XI. In character fluff/honest-to-God romance is hard. :) Although I really don't understand why would people dismiss Spock's emotions...it's controlled most of the time, sure, but it's all there. Besides, Sarek himself said that Vulcans love deeply, in a way even deeper than humans.

Re: I'm still too scared to Spock PoV. :P

(We shall stop now.)

I've always had a problem with the Vulcan philosophy. I've sort of got a WiP with Kirk questionning Spock about the emotional control thing but I'm not sure where I'm going with it. Sigh. I think Vulcans are a bunch of stiffs in denial. Sexy, logical stiffs, yes, but definitely self-deluded.

Denying their emotions doesn't seem logical anymore. Sure, it was a matter of extinction once upon a time, but surely context has got to count for something?!

*is off to catch some Zs now* Sleep tight in your time zone!
Oh god, I just want to cry for hours now D:

I love fic that addresses the fact that Spock's planet blew up, so thank you <3
I know what you mean. That's why I never really dared to write about that. Even now, I could only imagine it from decades down the line, when Spock is more matured and at ease with his emotions.
I was a bit blinded by the upbeat Hollywood ending. This is such a good point.

I wonder if he suffers from insomnia? Does he hold on to Kirk Uhura in the middle of the night? Despite all that logic, can he really look at Chekov the same way?

Despite all that logic, can he really look at Chekov the same way?

I have always wanted to write about that bit from Chekov's POV! Alas, I just don't have the heart to imagine Spock's reaction to it. T_T

And I am a bit worried about the next film, with the S/U thing and all. But meh, if all else fails, the glorious slash that is TOS will always be there.
I hear you.

I think Spock would have tried to rationalise it to himself but would still feel a vague sense of resentment towards the kid. (Which would then make him angry for being angry?! Cyclic emotions are cyclic?!)

In my head, Chekov's running to catch the turbolift and asking Spock to hold the door. Naturally, he doesn't, which is when Chekov gets the hint. Hmmm. Passive-aggressive Spock. *contemplative*

I'm going to burn down Paramount if they put in a S/U sex scene.

I don't think that Spock wold be resentful at all toward Chekov- for Chekov helped save his father and the remaining est of the council.

The Romulans, however...
Chekov helped save his father and the remaining est of the council.

Great point! It's always easier to recognize your loss than what you've kept.

The Romulans, however...

Oh. I see potential in this.
True, but he lost his mum!

I'm wondering if he looks at Chekov and thinks, "If you had been quicker." As logical as he is, I bet the thought crossed his mind. Or maybe I just want some Chekov hate, hah.

I also wonder what would've happened if he'd been given a choice between saving his father and his mother. (I ttly think he'd save Winona Ryder. And she will never be Amanda because I'm immature and in my head, she is Winona Ryder, who stole candles from a department store.)

Hmm. More angst.
I'm going to burn down Paramount if they put in a S/U sex scene.

LOL Vulcan green dick?
Well, blood rushes to the penis during arousal which is why it's so red during intercourse... So with Vulcans...

I am forgetting something here - what about Chekov? Why wouldn't he look at him the same way?
Chekov couldn't get Amanda beamed up. :( Not his fault, OBVIOUSLY. But...yeah. *sniff*
OH. YES. That makes sense :C

And seriously, someone out there writing that script has it out for Spock - blowing up his planet and killing his mother in basically the most heartbreaking scene of my life? UM, IS THAT NECESSARY GUYS?

But ngl, it provides a wealth of h/c opportunities, which happens to be my jam. I will have to fanfic hunt more in the near future.
Because they had sex, remember?

"I haff her, I haff her-- No, I lost her! D:>"

He was the one who had to beam the Vulcans and Winona Ryder back to the Enterprise, just as Vulcan was being sucked into a hole. :(
Because they had sex, remember?

That made me giggle despite the topic at hand. What's wrong with me. -_-
I totally didn't make that connection - I guess it was just so clear that the cliff crumbled out from under her and there was nothing for it, but yeah, I can see how Grief>>>> logic, half-Vulcan or not. :C

Oh Spock. *cuddles*
God, that's so touching! Poor lonely guy that he is. :(
*hugs Spock*


Oh. ;_;

Ouch.and sad. and no Marcel Proust, ever again, for Spock.

;-; Poor Spock,. These are some of the most beautiful and angsty 500 words I have ever read.
Um reading the first of the ST novels you uploaded (thank you!) Page 10 and my eyes are already as round as saucers. Dude--

Omne laughed. "Behold the peaceable Vulcan!" He threw his head back. "I have found your price, Spock of Vulcan. That is my riddle. What buys the man without price?"

"There is nothing you could offer which would buy me--or your life," Spock said tonelessly.

"Isn't there?" Omne chuckled. His gloved hand brushed across a control stud on the bar. The great mirror behind it dissolved into a viewscreen and filled with the image of--James Kirk. Laid out on a bench. The naked body draped with a thin sheet. The face exposed. Unmarked. Sleeping with that vast innocence which was his alone. Breathing...

UMM 'SCUSE ME? <3 <3 <3
WAIT. Which novel is that? where is this uploaded. Holy smokes, they don't even try to hide it, do they?

You would have to be in the comm to be able to see it. :)
Oh thank you, thank you! I can't believe I missed those on my first trawl through the comm. Granted that was ages ago, but I'm sure someone would have mentioned it!

*grabs up some pop corn and reads*
Oh WTH. Is that a Hyouga+Shun icon I see?

Good lord.

/dies of laughter
Um. Yes?

What's so funny? I love St. Seiya!
It's just surreal seeing those two. Hyoga was/is/always will be my first love. :)


(i was teh prompter)

Thank you! This was wonderful and oh so bitter sad.
You are very welcome. I hope somebody else filled the prompt the way you meant it.
Awww. Bittersweet indeed. I like the glimpse at Spock's childhood memories and of course, the angst. *cough*
Um, yeah, you just keep catching me when I've got something in my eye. Funny coincidence -- your journal must be very dusty. :-/

(srsly, though, this is beautiful.)
oh, ow. this made me teary-eyed. by which I mean, well done, fantastic work.