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February 2017

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sup bitches, st - garak

An Indecent Proposal (Star Trek DS9, Garak/Bashir)

Title: An Indecent Proposal
Author: Renata Lord (snowlight)
Pairing: Garak/Bashir
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine don't sue etc.
Note: Post series finale. With apologies to Evelyn Waugh and Tennessee Williams.

My dear Doctor,

In the tradition of all great Cardassian literature, I am sending you this all-text message as a formal declaration of intent. I know we have not seen each other in more than a year, but I think the time apart has merely provided us with a chance to contemplate the past as well as the future; and it is indeed the future that I am mindful of when I ask you to come to Cardassia and become my dacar. In your human terms, I am asking for your hand in marriage.

Believe me when I say that I cannot advise you to agree to my proposal in good conscience, or whatever I have left of it. To start, I am much older than you are, and humans tend to outlive Cardassians, especially one in dangerous occupations such as a minister in a fledgling government. In addition, you must be quite aware of my faults and deficiencies, unless as your poets say, for humans absence doth indeed make the heart fonder. But perhaps most importantly, I am asking you to trade DS9 and your friends there for the reptilian environment of Cardassia Prime and—let's face it, hordes of my xenophobic compatriots. No, my dear, this would be a thoroughly rotten deal for you, free clothes notwithstanding.

Nevertheless, Julian, think about how wonderful it would be for me! I, who tried to leave you behind but proved far more sentimental that I ever intended to be. To illustrate: The other night, I was being entertained by one Gul Kovaz at his abode. For all his famed intelligence and wit, not to mention impeccable taste in art, I found myself sorely longing for your presence. There comes a time in a man's life, my dear, when he must ask himself—if even the very delightful and handsome young governor of Dayak cannot compete with the mere memory of a distant human's mind and flesh, what then is the poor man to do?

Well, now you know the answer.

Some other pertinent information for your consideration: I have no surviving relatives, which is in fact great for you. My job is for the moment stable, despite the drawbacks associated with it. The environment here, both physically and socially, would not be agreeable to you as an outworlder. Even so, I have every confidence that you shall make a successful adaption, should you choose to do so.

As you know, Julian, I can be a remarkably selfish individual, and I hope you would choose to do so. You have always extolled the virtue of candor to me, thus at least for this one occasion, I shall admit that I have little to offer to share with you in return, except for my life, my work, and my people.

Elim Garak

Comments

Holly molly tha was funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but now I am iching to hear Julian's anwsher. write it pretty please
I'm hoping buoy would write Julian's reply. I had discussed it with her and it seems to run something like this:

B: You INFURIATING, PRESUMPTUOUS [etc] MISERABLE excuse of a man!!!
G: You are saying yes, though?
B: .......
Oh dear I can't wait to read it!!!!!
ps. but I truly hope that she have humor like you
Funny and very touching! Julian can have all of Garak AND free clothes - sounds like a great deal to me!
Aw, Julian, how can you say no to that??? /end sarcasm.

Garak, sometimes you can be so crude. This was a very entertaining read! And I agree with previous poster... I need to read Julian's reply to this! It will be bad for my health if I don't!
Crude? I have no idea what you are talking about. :P He's being honest, like Julian always told him to be!
Magnificent Garak! I can see him sitting there typing this letter and I needed a good laugh. This was hilarious and I would love to read Julian's reply! Thank you for sharing this with us! *hugs*
Free clothes! Dammit Garak I'll marry you! XD Awesome fic. I needed a laugh after the sad one I just read. I can't wait for the follow up!

Ahh the ever subtle Elim Garak.

M
I can't wait for the follow-up myself. :) I want to see what would buoy's Julian would pull off!

Although I have to say, I didn't really care for a lot of Garak's clothes....
Le Gasp!Blasphemy! Poor Garak! His own father exiles him, he's made an outcast of Cardassia, he's forced to turn against his own people as he watches the Dominion ruin his homeworld and when he returns its all destroyed! And Now! NOW His own fans say they don't like his clothes!*shakes head* Shame on you.
I liked most of his outfits but my particular fave was the dark green and black ensemble he wore later in the series. Can't say I though too much of his sailor stripes in past prologue though. :'

;3

M
Alas, I cannot tell a lie. I did like the dark green outfit a lot, although there were also ones that made me question just how did his shop stay in business. I mean....bright purple with orange?

XD well okay good point there...but its not his fault I suppose he didn't have much need for clothes designing in the Obsidian Order!
Maybe the Bajoran's just liked having a poor Cardassian around to poke at and blame when the going got tough? Maybe they liked his friendly, trustworthy presence? Maybe it was just a good plot device? We may never know...

M
Thanks! :D And FYI, your website was very useful in getting me started in exploring the fandom. So my thanks for that, too. :)
Lovely! I hope you will write Julian's reply!

Here from trek_news

I loved this--*perfect* Garak voice. I've been re-watching DS9 and catching all the eps I missed while they were changing the timeslot every week, so this is a timely treat.

Re: Here from trek_news

Oh thanks. :) I've only begun to watch DS9 recently, but it's an excellent series IMO.
Oh I love this so very much. It's really funny, but incredibly sweet.
You captured Garak's voice perfectly and I just adore how incredibly truthful he is in this.

I await Julian's reply with bated breath ^_^
If Garak's completely truthful he would ALSO point out the most important part of the deal—his undying love and devotion, etc etc etc. Funny how he can forget to mention things like that. :P
I loved this! Very humorous and rife with Garak's delectable sense of sarcasm. I like to add voice to the others wanting to see Julian's reply. :-D
Thank you. Hopefully I will be able to cajole buoy into it... XD
I LOVE YOUR GARAK VOICE. (Yes, that did need to be in all caps. :P)

Seriously - I could hear Andrew Robinson reading it in my head - so perfect. And this is totally the way Garak would propose...

Wonderful fic. :)