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tower of light

April 2017

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tower of light

Mycroft, the Lord of the Rings (Sherlock 2010 crack fic translation)

Title: Mycroft, the Lord of the Rings
Author: alexwish2005 (translated from Chinese by snowlight)
Characters: Sherlock, John, Mycroft, Moriarty
Rating: PG-13 (see note)
Disclaimer: So not mine. Or hers.
Note: This story makes a lot more sense if you've seen this short LOTR spoof by Steven Moffat in which The Ring becomes The Prince Albert.


Sherlock the Elven Prince and John the Hobbit were sent on a quest to track down the One Ring, which had been stolen by Moriarty.

Sherlock's elder brother, the half-Elven Mycroft told them he had their backs, though he would not be going himself.

"I cannot possibly leave the forest," said Mycroft in a grave tone, "not when the Dwarves are deciding their new leader—and I despise legwork."

Sherlock rolled his eyes and dragged Hobbit John along with him on the journey. After many travels and travails, they finally had Moriarty in their hands. However….


"John, go get the ring!" Sherlock encouraged his good pal.

"No no, the honor should go to you," said John, with equal parts of humility and sincerity.

"You are wonderful…but as an Elf, I have no desire to leave my name in the Middle Earth history books. I only care for the journey itself. Do it, John Watson! For your people, for Middle Earth…for me."

They gazed at each other intently. Moriarty cackled from not afar.


"…Sherlock. Please. You do it. I really cannot."

The two heroes' faces twitched in gloom as they looked at James Moriarty, who had been cornered onto a cliff but still acted like he was on top of the world.

"Don't—even—think—about—it!" Moriarty looked at the Ring's holding place with greed. He rubbed it again, forcefully. "My own—my love—my preciousssssss!"

"…Sherlock!" John was almost begging now.

Sherlock sighed and took the bow from John's shoulders with a heavy heart.

"Mycroft must had known this from the very beginning," he gritted his teeth as he aimed. "That sneaky bastard."

Back in the faraway Elven land, surrounded by the ancient books, Mycroft sneezed.



by alexwish2005 and snowlight


So the fact is

that wherever Moriaty held the ring must be quite ……thin

Re: So the fact is

There are limits to modern technology and elven magic....

Sherlock you poor boy.

Ahahaha! Mycroft sneezing at the end was just too much.

Very amusing :D