And the worst part is I didn't understand why others didn't understand it. ... I could not fathom why did I hurt people, when I perceived that I had done nothing wrong, malicious, or deceitful.
Nobody says freedom has to be nice.
I think this is regressing into English, because I cannot seem to organize the thoughts into orderly Chinese.
Fundamentally, I think the problem is that I can't recognize the emotional (or however you want to call it) claims/attachments people like to have on one another. If people make each other happy, that's great. If that ceases to be the case, the natural thing to do is to walk away from one another before hard feelings surface. I get confused by people who grow bitter (a neutral term here) by a perceived waning of affection, like Z. He was angry for a while because I had grown distant from him despite a four-year friendship. Which I had, to be fair, and it wasn't because of anything he did. But I honestly did not understand why he was angry at me for it. In fact, it's not until I typed this previous sentence that I've vaguely realize the why. Talk about epiphanies.
Yet there is still so much that I don't understand.